“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
(Matthew 11:28, ESV)
Years ago, I had a home project to renovate a bathroom. I decided to put in a marble tile floor as part of the project. There was a section that I built that elevated the shower about 9 inches and had to tile that section up to the shower also. So, I proceeded and had everything finished. Then I realized something. I failed to put cement under the cement board upon which I laid the tiles. Realizing that it would probably be good enough I tried to forget about it. My wife said don’t worry about it, but I just could not let it go. So, I tore the whole section out and started over. You see, in certain things I am a perfectionist.
Mirriam Webster’s defines perfectionism as “a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable.” Well, that is me and this creates problems when it is not under control.
In the area of emotional wellness. Perfectionism can lead to a variety of emotional ills, such as frustration, anxiety, anger, depression and so on. It can make one over sensitive to criticism, prevent one from trying new things, make one difficult to live with, and wear one out. It can cause one to be overly critical of others who are perceived as not being perfect. It can be a source of pride and a means of gaining approval. In the area of ministry, it can lead one to trust in one’s own efforts rather than the power of the Spirit.
So, we perfectionists need to learn how to take the divine chill pill. Jesus gave us such a remedy.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”” (Matthew 11:28–30, ESV)
Here Jesus was speaking to a nation of people who were frantically trying to justify themselves before God by striving to do good works. Their goal was perfection in following the law, but no one could reach perfection in doing so. Thus, people struggled under the burden of perfectionism, never achieving the standard they sought.
In the midst of this, Jesus came and offered them an alternative. It was to be found in a relationship with Him by faith. So, what does this mean to us? There are three things to consider.
First, we must realize that God loves us just the way we are. Jesus said “Come to me all.” He put no qualifications on this. All people, even the perfectionists, are to come to Him to find rest.
Second, we must realize that Christ does not put unbearable obligations on us. He stated,
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
None of us, even the perfectionists, ever achieve perfection in this life. So, we need to take the divine chill pill. We need to experience true rest for our souls. This does not mean that we should be haphazard in what we do, but that we do the best we can while learning to have rest and release from the pressures of life in Him.
Third, we should remember that we are a work in progress. Jesus stated it this way, “. . . learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” We are all growing in our relationship with Christ and our ability to overcome the stresses of life and its demands for perfection.
We should not kick ourselves when we do not achieve the standard of perfection, but relax and rest in God’s love. He loves us as believers even when we fail. It is our faith that pleases Him. Instead of beating ourselves up, let us learn from our failures and move forward with confidence. Let us not be controlled by perfectionism or our emotions, but by the Spirit who indwells us. The big problem of the perfectionists is not striving for excellence, but allowing that striving to be the controlling influence in their lives. Thus, let us do our best in everything, while always resting in Christ.
Renewing the Heart 