“Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” (Matthew 18:21–22, ESV)
In 1822 Thomas Gillet published a collection of stories. One of them is titled “The Devil and the Doctor.” In it some students attempt to teach their instructor a lesson by dropping a monkey on his back while he was riding a horse home one evening. However, the instructor believed that he had the devil on his back. In reality he literally had a monkey on his back.
The expression, “Getting the monkey off your back,” has been used over the years in a variety of ways. Yet all have to do with some uncomfortable circumstance or situation that is negatively influencing one’s countenance or progress in life.
In the area of emotional wellness, one of the greatest monkeys that can get on one’s back is that of unforgiveness. Many people carry this monkey on their back, refusing to let go of it, not realizing how detrimental it is to their Christian walk and satisfaction in life. Unforgiveness is an uncomfortable monkey that can have a significant adverse effect on one’s emotional wellbeing. It is the seed of bitterness in one’s life. The write of Hebrews captured this thought.
“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;” (Hebrews 12:15, ESV)
Bitterness is a that will grow and cause great trouble in one’s life.
So, we need to understand what true forgiveness is and then how to readjust the heart in order to demonstrated this divine attribute.
First, we must understand what forgiveness is not. It is not forgetting what someone has done to you for this is not possible on the short-term; it may not even be fully possible on the long-term. Forgiveness is not condoning one’s sin or excusing it. Moreover, it is not weakness, for God demonstrated it to us.
Second, we must understand the magnitude of our call to forgive. Remember Peter’s question and the Lord’s answer on this.
“Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” (Matthew 18:21–22, ESV)
The Pharisaic tradition was for one to forgive two times. Peter must have thought that forgiving seven times was quite magnanimous. Yet what the Lord stated to Peter what must have been a shock to Peter. He implied that Peter was to continue to forgive regardless of how many times.
Third, we must consider the great debt of forgiveness that the Lord has given us who believe. This is the purpose of the parable that followed Jesus’ answer. In it a master forgave a servant an insurmountable debt. Yet this same servant would not forgive the mere pittance another owed to him. The Lord has forgiven us our infinite debt of sin and we often cannot in comparison forgive the little with which that others have wronged us.
At the end of this parable the Lord stated that we must forgive with all our heart.
But the question is how? Since it seems so difficult. Wel there are only two things to say. First, realize that we are not all that and that we have been forgiven an infinite debt of sin. Second, realize that the power and ability is within us by the indwelling Holy Spirit.
Third, we must realize that pride and our own fleshly desires will often hinder this ability. Thus, we need to confess our struggles with pride and forgiveness, and ask the Heavenly Father to strengthen us to forgive those who have wronged us.
Last, let us continue to seek the Lord for the divine power to forgive when our hearts struggle. We must seek Him through prayer and forgive. This releases the seed of bitterness and results in emotional wellbeing.
Renewing the Heart 