“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if to live in the flesh,—if this shall bring fruit from my work, then what I shall choose I know not. But I am in a strait betwixt the two, having the desire to depart and be with Christ; for it is very far better: yet to abide in the flesh is more needful for your sake.” (Philippians 1:21–24, ASV)
I have been with many people in the final stages of their life. Some move on to eternity with peace and a desire to go. These know that their eternal destiny will be with the Lord in heaven. Yet some, even with this assurance, often have a struggle. I was with one family in which the husband, diagnosed with terminal illness fought to his last breath for life. Some looked at his struggle and likely thought that his assurance of eternal life must have been weak. However, I am not so sure.
Paul was imprisoned for preaching the gospel and awaiting trial. His future was uncertain. So, he indicated a truth, “to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Paul saw the silver lining on both sides of the equation. To live was serve Christ on this earth. To die meant living in heavenly paradise, which would be infinitely more comfortable.
In this passage, we might construe that his desires are somewhat conflicted. Yet he is making a statement of fact. Whether on earth or in heaven it would be good for him. Yet he stated, “But I am in a strait betwixt the two.” In other words, he could not choose what would be the better, life here or to pass on to heaven.
I believe that I can understand the fight for life that man I spoke of previously waged. As he thought of leaving his wife and entering heaven, perhaps he was concerned about her wellbeing and the wellbeing of those he loved. He most certainly wanted to care for them and yet the promise of entering heaven without the pain and the struggles he was enduring must have been desired.
Paul was conflicted over the two and I believe it is natural for every believer to be conflicted also. The conflict for believers are many. They may be conflicted over leaving their loved ones, understanding the sorrow that they will be experiencing upon their departure. Some who are healthy may look forward to heaven, but it is the journey of suffering to get there that they do not want to experience. Yet there are others like Paul who want to make a further impact for the kingdom here before departing, knowing that heaven will be much better.
So, we all must realize this truth. For us to live is to serve Christ here and for us to die is to be with Him in glory.
Renewing the Heart 