“For we are glad, when we are weak, and ye are strong: and this also we wish, even your perfection. Therefore I write these things being absent, lest being present I should use sharpness, according to the power which the Lord hath given me to edification, and not to destruction.” (2 Corinthians 13:9–10, KJV)
I have heard the expression, “This is going to hurt me more than you.” It was used in the context of a father disciplining a child. I have to say that my dad never used this phrase when disciplining me. Yes, I did get a spanking when I was young and I deserved it. Mind you, my dad never beat me or used any excessive discipline. Yet the expression, “This is going to hurt me more than you” does bring up a valid thought. It is that the parent who loves their child struggles with disciplining their child. Why? It is because the parent does not want to hurt the child but still knows that it is necessary for the child’s development. Without discipline as a child, the child may never develop to become a mature and responsible adult who will be a blessing to society. I can relate to this as a parent myself. Exercising discipline is not the thing that parents really want to do.
Paul wrote the letter to the church at Corinth as a warning so that he would not have to exercise discipline when he visited. His hope was that they would rectify the various situations of which he warned prior to his arrival. In fact, the letter of warning was a lighter act of discipline. It was not so harsh as what would be necessary if the church did not take care of their problems.
The Lord had given Paul apostolic authority. This authority was intended to edify, that is to build-up, the church. His mission was not to destroy it. Paul took this charge and in so doing developed a bond with the churches. He carried a burden for them. I would go on to say that he loved them as a parent loves a child. Paul, like a good parent, had the job of edifying. It was a vital work that would often require tough love.
In the church today, there is a need for tough love. It is a hard thing. Today, the issues in our culture make the need for tough love even more prevalent than they were say fifty years ago. Years ago, before we moved into a post-Christian era, people had a view of morality that largely agreed with the Bible. Now, being in a post-Christian era, we find cultural views have significantly shifted. The result is that the outside cultural moral decline is infiltrating the church. We constantly find people coming into the church with the moral standards of the world. We increasingly see unmarried couples cohabitating, same-gender arrangements, and people embracing many other unbiblical moral views entering the church. This is very similar to what went on in Corinth. Many of these people are searching for truth. Many have just begun to embrace faith in Christ. Shaping these lives is a challenge that we cannot overlook.
In view of the challenges facing the church today, we cannot overlook the need for tough love. The pattern seems to be established in Paul’s letter here. It is that of giving the warning followed by personal interaction of discipline if needed. This is absolutely in line with the Lord’s admonition regarding handling such issues in the church (Matthew 18:15-17). Yet the work to deal with such issues must be handled by those spiritual people who having a loving care for those who are struggling with worldly issues. Paul wrote to the Galatians, “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1, KJV)
Renewing the Heart 